Signs and Symptoms of Marriage

Recently, I have been pondering on some things that have been happening to me and sincerely I do find them rather disturbing and very interesting.   I began to really notice them when I started hearing of friends who were getting married and it became really pronounced when I feasted on and fed my eyes and heart with romantic movies that gave me a regular doze of all the sweet nothings I loved to hear and the short lived feelings of being in a romantic setting which frankly I haven’t had in a while.

I consulted with a friend (a guy of course) just to compare notes and was I surprised to see that our notes were the same, but from a guy’s perspective.  I mean, if we were in the same class and submitted our notes as a project, one of us would have been arrested for Plagiarism (am guessing it would have been him cos girls always get away with things like that). 

So, one morning as I struggled with my reading, trying to separate the word LOVE from every sentence I read, I picked up my pen and wrote these words on my Note book “I think I am having the Signs and Symptoms of Marriage”.  I smiled as I looked at those words and that sudden feeling of knowing you have created something filled my heart with a fuzzy feeling and a mischievous smile danced on my lips as I thought of all my friends that must be having these signs and symptoms.  So if you are tagged in this note, I was thinking of you.... (just kidding)

So here are some of the signs and symptoms I noticed, pls feel free to disagree with me or even add yours.

1. Incessant daydreaming about a faceless guy coming to sweep you off your feet
2. Pillow hugging
3. Sleepless nights
4. Loneliness knows you by name
5. Taking every smile or sincere compliment as a sign of attraction
6. Charging your phone once in two days cos it never rings.
7. Calling yourself with someone else’s phone just to hear your phone ring
8. Adding guys or girls as friends on facebook just cos they look good and rejecting the ones that don’t impress you. (I can see some people smiling on this one ha ha)
9. When your phone finally rings, you try to keep the person on line for as long as you can cos you never know when you will get a call again.
10. Watching romantic movies endlessly.... even d ones where you can’t understand what they are saying.
11. The need to get noticed by all means... doing stupid things you will never have thought you can do.
12. Blaming your friends and family for not giving your number to their friends or colleagues in the office.
13. Looking at people’s fingers to check for a ring
14. Visiting wedding sites (Ladies....)
15. Let’s not even start on prayer points every morning.
16. Secretly hoping a guy will ask for your number and making moves to ensure he does that.
17. Making anonymous calls to random numbers.
18. Wishing the guy/girl you love breaks up with other girl/guy
19. Changing your bb or facebook profile picture, every second (ok every few minutes) every day or every week (depending on how severe).
20. Obsession about catching the bride’s flowers at a wedding.
21. Smiling to yourself unconsciously (the result of daydreaming)
22. Being invited to a party and thinking “Maybe I will meet Mr. right or Mrs. Left there”
23. Suddenly remembering all your crushes and silly love way back in primary school or secondary school and hoping maybe you’ll bump into them someday (unmarried and unengaged of course).
24. Deleting the word coincidence from your personal dictionary.
25. Did I mention flirting... hmmmmm *raised eye brow*

So, I know the list is endless and many of you will disagree with me, but feel free to add and subtract.  However, I must say something at this point, these are only signs and symptoms and some can become extreme cases.  If you by any chance have any of the above listed signs and symptoms please do the following immediately to avoid extremity;

1. If you are single and unattached, see your pastor immediately for prayers.
2. If you are engaged, pls for God’s sake, go get married.
3. If you are married, please take your wife/husband on a vacation, you have some rekindling to do.

Hopefully, this will help some people know where they stand and what they need to do.  If symptoms persist...  I have no idea what next you can do.

Toodles

Life is like a Candle

One hot afternoon, I was sitting alone in my room and I felt the presence of God with me.  It was so intense that I started crying and I asked the Lord why he had come to visit me today.  He asked me to seat at the table in my room which I did.  There was a candle and a box of matches on the table, he then asked me to light the candle and let it seat on the table.  Like a child listening to her father, I obeyed.

When the candle was lit and well seated on the table, he said to me “Life is like a candle”.  I watched the candle earnestly as the flames danced upon its shoulders, waiting expectantly to listen and understand the wisdom the Lord wanted to teach me that afternoon.  The Lord continued...

“You are made to be a light in the world, you are made to dispel darkness and someday, just like the candle, your time will be up”.  I kept listening and watching the candle. The top of the candle filled with melted wax and it poured down its sides to the table and I heard the lord say to me “You were made to be an outpour unto the world.  Everything I have given you, the gifts, the wisdom, the love is meant to be outpoured into the world, not kept to yourself.  If the candle didn’t have an avenue to overflow, the wax would clog at the top and dim the flame, if you do not pour out to the world, you cannot shine brightly to the world; your light will be too dim to be seen. 

I nodded and watched as the wax slowly slipped down the sides of the candle, suddenly a light wind started blowing the flames of the candle and it seemed like it would quench the flame, it flickered and tossed from side to side but God instructed me to shield the flame with my hand which I did and the flame calmed.  Then he said “The storms of life will come and threaten to snuff life out of you, but never fear, always know that I am always there to shield you from these storms. If you watched closely you would have noticed that when the wind tossed the flames, more wax was melted and more wax flowed down, that’s what storms are meant to do to you, they are to make you stronger and help you learn more things you can share with the rest of the world who may find themselves in your situation.

I smiled.  When the wind stopped, I removed my hand from the candle, but I knew the Lord was not done, so I waited.  He asked me to pull the candle from the table, by this time, a lot of wax had flowed down the candle to the table and there was a lot of wax stuck to the table.  “After you have finished the race and left the world the mark you leave is like the wax stuck to the table, it is like the outpour of your entire life to the world.  Just like the candle, its outpour always remains long after the candle burns all its wax and even when you try to scrape it away, it always still leaves a mark on the table or any other surface it is placed on, that is how your life should be”.

I wondered in awe at the wisdom the Lord had just shared with me, there was a lot of truth ringing from his words.  Finally, the Lord said to me, go and write these things down.  I switched off the candle and picked my journal, the words the Lord spoke to me flowed through my hand into the pages of my journal and today, I present these same words to you.

Life is like a candle, live your life knowing that one day it will end and think about what you are leaving behind when you go because no matter what happens, the candle must always overflow, so will your life... whether you pour out good or bad things, whether the mark you leave behind will inspire people or mar their lives, you determine that.

Lost

I feel so lost in this world

Like a little child left alone in the cold

Like an old forgotten painting on the wall of a beautiful castle

And Even though there are familiar sights and faces.

I feel lost

But deep within my heart is a world

Every now and then, I love to go there

To feel alive, happy, fullfilled and content

But I cannot find the path to lead my feet there

Only my heart knows the way

I hope that someday

Before my breathing slows

My heart will lead my feet

To that world... My happy world

That is hidden within its beats

Fighting Temptations

Many Christians struggle from various forms of temptation that have held them bound as a result of addictions formed from habits they counted as insignificant in time past.  The flesh is weak especially in fighting temptations and in the wake of satisfying it’s desires, it drains a man of all his dignity and his Spirit suffers the blow for days or even years.

These addictions are easy doorways the devil uses to access the lives of Christians; he uses it to make us see ourselves as less than who we are and torments us constantly with our weakness. 

A very common addiction the devil has used to get hold of our generation today is Masturbation.  Some people will tell you it is right, after all, it’s just a way to release yourself, but it is a web, it entangles you and enslaves you.  Sex is the most successful weapon of the devil today and masturbation is only a way to make it look good. However, we have a merciful God that has promised us a way of escape for every temptation that comes our way.  

Temptations come in many forms but usually walk through the open doors of addictions.  Addictions are formed habits and habits are formed from the little things we simply cannot take our minds off.  It’s much easier to kill a habit than an addiction.

When you are faced with such addiction, here are some tips you may like to consider;

1.     Temptations do not just happen out of the blues, there are various things that lead up to a man being tempted that must be avoided at all cost.  I like to call them triggers.  They may differ for different situations.  Masturbation is a massive addiction that entangles its victims in a web, clouds your mind and distorts your thoughts.  However, there are several triggers like pornography, subtle sex scenes, sometimes it could just be the way people look at you, touch you or funny sounds.  The idea is to take note of what triggers these feelings and needs; it will differ according to individuals.  Even smokers and alcoholics have triggers, find them, take note of them and avoid them like a plague.

2.    If you are struggling with Masturbation, please do not keep it to yourself.  Tell someone you can trust someone you can be accountable to, someone who will pray for and with you rather than mock you.  This will help you a lot on your way to recovery.  It is very natural to be ashamed of your addictions, but it’s very dangerous to keep it a secret because the devil will take advantage of that.  He will torment you with funny notions of shame, rejection and the fear of people looking down on you especially if you are respected as a holy and perfect Christian.  If you do not tell someone, it will keep eating into your life until it finally destroys you and people eventually get to know.  However, when it is no longer a secret, the devil has lost some amount of power over you because confessing a sin is the road to deliverance and total healing

3.   As a result of our imperfect nature and the weakness of the flesh, sometimes, we would fall or fail.  There are days you will succumb to temptation and when this happens, we are quick to condemn ourselves and hide from God; we shut God off totally and wallow in self pity.  This is the pleasure of the devil, he immediately kicks in with self condemning thoughts of unworthiness and eternal condemnation.  He twists your knowledge of the Love of God in your heart and condemns you to hell.  The devil sees our withdrawal from God as a chance to pull us right into darkness.  You must understand that it’s at the point where you fall that God wants to hold you the most, to pull you in his arms, away from the lies of the devil and whisper his undying and unconditional love into your ears.  God is love and there is nothing you can do to make him love you any more or any less.   He only wants us to honestly come before him for mercy.  No matter how many times you fail, keep trying but never hide from God.  Don’t be scared of the devil, his horns and tail even that fork he seems to carry around are nothing compared to the weapons of God, let him know his lies are crap speak the word of God to his face and send him running off to his mama(if he has one).  Remind him that there is now no condemnation to those who are in Christ.  You’ll see that he’s not so scary after all

4.   Before going for a battle, you must prepare.  Whether there is a war or not, the army are always in training in anticipation of any war to avoid being caught unawares.  Their weapons are constantly with them and their minds are always alert.  This is the way to handle temptations.  You must prepare for them before they come, the devil never sleeps, every victory over temptation makes him furious and he keeps planning new ways to attack.  You must arm yourself with the word of God and be ready to speak boldly in his face.  You must travail on your knees in the place of prayer in order to stand victorious.

Finally, pray for the Grace of God, without Grace your battle is in vain.  Flee all appearances of evil even when the devil puts it right under your nose, hold your breath and stand your ground.  Find the nearest way of escape and RUN, that’s why you have two legs.  We are on the battle field and we cannot afford to be distracted or taken unawares.  We must fight; we must be prepared at all times and consistently upgrade our weapons by growing in the knowledge of God’s word.  We must abide him God at all times.  The truth is when we fully immerse ourselves in God, the things of this world along with its temptations and limitations grow dim and slowly fade away in the light of his Love.

Adopted

The raindrops pounded around me as i squeezed myself under the tiny shade I found in a dark alley.  It had become my home for a while but it could not shelter me when the rain poured and the sun scourged.  The sight of me sent everyone away from me, I was a scum, another unwanted dirt.  As I stayed squeezed under my shade, my eyes were wide open, but i could not tell the difference between the rain and my tears.

Then, he walked up to me, a little boy under a mighty umbrella.  I thought he had come to laugh and make fun of me like other children did, but he stretched out his hand and his gentle eyes beckoned on me.  I hesitated and watched for a moment, but he didn't withdraw his hand.  He saw my hesitation and smiled and like a dove he nodded.

I took his hand and he pulled me gently under his umbrella and silently, we walked together.  He led me to the gates of a mighty palace, so full of majesty and awesomeness.  I stopped in my tracks and moved back.  Surely, he didn't expect me to follow him into the gates.  I was filthy, I was no royalty and my scum was sure to stink up the whole place.  I simply could not see myself fitting into such royalty and beauty.

I took another step back and was out of his umbrella, but he did not let go of my hand.  He gently pulled back in and spoke his first words to me.

" It's okay, everyone is expecting you".

His sweet voice calmed my nerves and i walked into the gates with him.  However, my confidence went right back to bottom level when we got to the door.  I thought about his parents, they would never let a scum like me come into their house.  As we stood at the door, I was shaking, not because of the cold, but for the fear of his father and possible rejection.

Without warning the door opened and a Man whose face i could not look upon stood before us.  He looked at his son and then at me.  " Papa, this is my friend, can she stay with us?"
A smile curved on his Papa's face and he took my hand from his son and led me into the palace.  He went on his knees, wiped my tears and hugged me.  "Welcome home my child"

My heart melted and my knees could not hold me any more, his words brought me to my knees for he did not call me his son's friend, he called me His Child.  Truly, everyone was expecting me as there was a great feast. I was cleaned up and given new cloths and welcomed into the family.

Jesus takes us just as we are, with all our filth and sin, then he presents us to the Father for adoption.  God takes us in and makes us his own, a joint heir with Christ.  He takes away all condemnation and fills us with his righteousness.

The beauty of his Adoption.

When God is silent.

Peter had known about Jesus ever since he was a child; his parents worked diligently with the church ever since he was but a little child.  He heard about Jesus everytime at Sunday school and one day, when he was 8, he gave his life to Christ.  He loved the lord so much and promised to go all the way with Jesus even if he is faced with death.

The time to fulfil that promise to God came; the government forbade the worship of Christ in their city and threatened to kill everyone who even spoke his name.  The church went into hiding, the precious name of Jesus was spoken in secret and his name was whispered only in darkness.  Peter could not understand the hypocrisy and challenged the church.

No one listened to him and everyone called him a fool, they said to him “it is wisdom to obey the law, don’t be stupid child, go home to your parents”   He was only 15, but he knew what they were doing was wrong.  If his Jesus were here, he would never be defeated by the fear of death, his Jesus that faced the Pharisees fearlessly in the bible and challenged them to their face?  He must be ashamed of his people for denying him.

Peter remembered the story of Shedrach, Messiach and Abednego, and how God rescued them when they stood for him even in the face of death, he thought about Ruth and how she said fearlessly “If i perish i perish” in a quest to rescue her people and how God won the battle for them, in his heart, he knew what to do.  He didn’t tell anyone, even his parents, because he knew they would discourage him.

Early one morning, with shaking hands and unsteady legs, Peter went to the market square and with a loud voice he screamed “Jesus Loves You”.  The market fell silent immediately, and all eyes turned on Peter.  Some looked angry, some sad, some pitiful but none showed love or recognition, Peter’s heart broke at the denial written on the faces around him, the same faces that sneaked to church in the dark and professed love for God.

It wasn’t long before the officials heard about the scandal and Peter was snatched from his home and isolated.  His parents pleaded and said he was only a child but when the officials accused them of feeding the child with such words as he could have only repeated what he heard constantly, they denied him out of fear of being killed.  His parents withdrew into the darkness to pray for their child.

Peter was made to face many court gatherings and asked to deny Jesus and apologise for his outburst at the market square, but he refused.  He was threatened with fearful punishments, even death, but he refused to deny Jesus.  In his heart, he knew Jesus would save him and even if he didn’t he would never deny Jesus.

Peter’s parents felt ashamed for what they had done but fear paralyzed them and they kept consoling themselves with the thought that God would save their child just like he saved his people in the bible.  They enlisted the entire hidden church to pray for their son.

One day, it was announced that Peter would be given a final chance to deny Jesus publicly or be killed.  Everyone gathered at the market square to witness the event.  Some came to mock the stupidity of the child, others came with pitiful hearts hoping the child would save himself.  The church members came with hushed silence, hoping that God will work a miracle and save the boy.

When Peter was brought out, everyone fell silent and only a few gasps and sniffs were heard in the crowd.  He wore the same cloth he was wearing when they snatched him a month ago, he looked lean and a bit tattered, but in his eyes was a sparkle that no one could understand. 

“We bring you out today to give you another chance to deny Jesus in the presence of the entire community or be killed.  Peter, do you deny Jesus this day?” the official asked.

Peter looked up and saw his parents in the front row, his mother’s eyes were swollen and his dad held on to her as she shook in his arms.  He looked into the eyes of other people he could recognise and saw them plead with him to deny Jesus.  Then he turned his eyes to the heavens and said “How can i deny the one who loves me so dearly and would never deny me”.

There was uproar and the official tried to quieten the crowd.  “This is our judgement, just as you have disobeyed the laws of the land, you will be beheaded this minute”.  The crowd went wild again, some people shouted “He’s only a child, leave him alone”.  However, the law had spoken and had to be carried out.

As the soldiers prepared to behead Peter, he cried.  He knew if he denied Jesus, he would be free, he would go back into hiding and everyone would be happy, but he knew it would haunt him for the rest of his life.  The hidden church prayed silently in their hearts that God would work a miracle and save Peter, just like he did in the bible.

When it was all set, Peter was asked to say his final words.  He looked up to heaven, kept believing that God would save him.  The church had faith; they also believed God would save him.  Peter looked into the eyes of everyone and sang from the depth of his heart.

Jesus i enthrone you

I proclaim you as king

Standing here in the midst of all

I raise you high with my praise

And as i worship build your throne

And as i worship build your throne

And as i worship build your throne

Come Lord Jesus and take your place.

Peter meant the song to be a prayer to God, he knew his stand for God was an act of worship to God and he prayed that God would use it to change his community and take his place in the land.


Tears fell from his face as he raised his hands to the king.  When he was done, the soldiers snatched him and cut off his head.  There was no rolling thunder, or sudden earthquake.  There was no loud voice or an invisible hand to stop them from killing him, there was only the sudden realization that Peter was dead.  Peter’s mother knelt down and held the soil tight with her hands; she let out a heart wrenching cry that poured the pain in her heart.

The crowd dispersed and Peter’s body was handed over to his parents for burial.  The church gathered in the darkness and no one could speak of what had happened.  No one could understand why God did not save the child.  However, their hearts were heavy with a burden and strength built up within them.  They talked about the song Peter sang and acknowledged how he was the only one who had truly worshipped God, and his sacrifice was the highest form of worship to God.  They were ashamed for their denial and how God had gotten their attention only with the death of a child.

That act of worship had kindled a flame in their hearts and they knew they could not keep going into hiding.  Many other hearts were being stirred in the city, Peter’s song was working miracles, he’s death was bringing people back to God.  There was a revival in the land, the church came out of hiding and other people joined them to proclaim Christ in one accord.  There was a battle, the government was overthrown and someone else replaced him. 

All this happened because one little boy truly worshipped God.  Worship goes beyond songs, it is a lifestyle, it’s in the little sacrifice we make for God, the obedience, the faith, the love we show to everyone around us, and it’s in trusting him.

Most of all, what if God had saved Peter, there would have been no revival, everyone would have gone back to hiding, taking the gospel along with them.  Every bad thing that happens to Christians is not for shame or discouragement, God always has a plan.  He sees the big picture, he knows everything.  His plan is always for good and not evil.

Peter died so that there can be a revival in the land, whatever has happened to you is for a purpose, if you can rest in his presence and stop hating him and pushing God away, you will see his purpose in that situation.  We cannot always understand the ways of God; we can only trust that he will never do anything to hurt us, he always seeks for our good.

It will be painful, but God wounds that he might heal.  Just worship the father, let him fill you with his love.

THE DEVIL’S TRAP

 ¹³Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, ¹⁴I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13-14

Do you know what I have been through in this life?  Do you even have any idea?  I was abused at the age of 12 by my father. I grew up in an orphanage because my mother never wanted me, I never had straight A’s in my academics, no one wants to be around me, I have been in and out of the hospital all my life… life really isn’t worth living, don’t seat there telling me God loves me or there is a God because you can never understand how I feel, neither can God.

Have you ever been around such people or even uttered such words before?  I know I have.  I have been angry with God, my parents and everyone around me because I just could not understand why life was so cruel to me and why my life was so difficult.  Then I read the story of Paul in 1 Corinthians 11.  Paul had a long list of all he had been through in life and yet, he still moved on and held on to his faith in God.  He never questioned God but always praised God for all he was going through.  Paul was just like you and me, he was a great if not the greatest apostle that lived.

From further study, I discovered his secret in Philippians 3: 13-14.  Then it dawned on me that all I had been through had to be for a reason, God is not one known to make mistakes.  The enemies knew the influence Paul had over the people, they knew that people believed him and soon he would turn the people against them so the enemies had a conference over Paul and decided to make life hell for him.  Their ultimate plan was to make him forget who he is in Christ and depart from the path God had destined for him to walk.  If they had succeeded and Paul forsook the pursuit of Jesus because of all he suffered, we would never have all the great epistles he wrote or God would have found someone else to take up the work.

Bishop T.D. Jakes said “If you are going through hell in your life, it’s not the time to give up; rather it is a time to persevere.  It only means that there is something really great God has planned for you and someone (definitely the devil) doesn’t want you to get there.  I can assure you that the heavens are having constant meetings over your life to help you pull through”

We must realize that the devil does not want us to become who God wants us to be because if we do, we will become a threat to his kingdom.  Being the coward that he is, he begins to attack us with different issues, especially when we are growing up.  You get abused (physically, emotionally, sexually, verbally) and lose your self esteem, you never pass examinations and you are tagged a failure, your mother dumps you in an orphanage and you label yourself a reject and all other things that mess up our minds.  If we give in to these labels and give up, we make the devil rejoice because he would have taken care of another threat to his kingdom and their activities.

I encourage you today to press on, forget all that you have been through and hold on to God.  Do not be another trophy the devil can boast about; rather strive to be a vessel God can rejoice over.  You may be at the brick of breakthrough just when you decide to give up.  Joseph persevered even when he was accused falsely by his own brothers and Potiphar’s wife and thrown in prison and he helped his father and brothers when there was famine and paved way for the children of Israel to prosper in the land of Egypt.  Paul persevered in prison, through strokes of cane, starvation and a lot of things he listed, but he never gave up and today he is one of the greatest apostles that ever lived.  He’s teachings are a major guideline that Christians follow.

I dare you to persevere; your breakthrough is just by the corner, do not let the devil cheat you… Press on and be who God wants you to be.