To my future son

Dear Son,

I have thought about you ever since i thought about getting married.  You know why?

its because in every man that has asked for my hand in marriage, i have seen a little version of you.  I want for you a father and a daddy. A father that will teach you patiently and a daddy that will love you with all his heart.

i want to listen with pride when you say to me "i want to be like my daddy when i grow up". and have no fear of how you will turn out.  So you see my son, you determine to a large extent who i will marry because i want you to be just like your daddy.

A man who loves the Lord with all his heart. A man who can stand on his own and who is not afraid to cry. A man who will place his family on the top of his priority list. A man of valor, strength and a strong character.  A man who will never compromise his good character to get the seemingly beautiful things of life. A man of genuine integrity. A man who knows how to treat a lady. A man who is as bold as a lion but with the heart of a lamb.  A man who is not afraid to love.  A man so full of wisdom, he is able to provide for his family and keep an inheritance for his children. A man who would treat his wife like a queen, he's daughter like a princess and make his son the prince of his castle.

All this and many more i desire for you my son, but i know that you can only fully learn them by walking in the footsteps of your father.  Since i want you to be like him, then i must choose wisely.

My greatest joy will be to see you and your daddy walk and work together in harmony. To see you both talk and when i ask you to tell me what you have been discussing, you'll both say in a chorus "its men's talk".  To see you go out together and play ball or go fishing.  It will be nice to see you argue with your daddy and watch as you settle it with a "chop knuckle/ handshake". 

I promise not to get jealous of your strong bond but will be there through it all cheering you on and stealing hugs while i whisper in your ears how great you will be. And when you need to cry and don't want your daddy to see you, come to me, I'll give you open arms, a handkerchief and a cup of tea.

oh my child... you will be great. You will do and achieve far greater things than your daddy. You will be fearless and strong.  I see it all.

And when it is time to build your own home, i hope you would have seen in me an example of the woman you should marry and in your dad an example of how to be a man, a father, a daddy and a husband.

Your big sister sends her regards, she is very excited to meet you and i can tell that both of you will be best buddies.

Mummy loves you and no matter how much you grow, know that you will always be my little prince.

Loads of love.

Mum

To my future daughter

Dear Daughter,

we haven't met but i have the strangest feeling that you know me.

I look forward to meeting you someday and holding you in my arms. I have a name for you already but i will keep it as a secret and look forward to the smile on your beautiful face when i whisper it in your ears.

I look forward to looking at your face and seeing a reflection of me in your smile and laughter.

I look forward to the days when you'll start walking and we'll play catch me if you can in our living room.

I hope when you say your first words it will be mama because that would be a huge reward for me after carrying you for 9 months.

i can't wait to see the look on your father's face each time he holds you in his arms, i know he'll love you a lot because I'll never marry a man who would treat u badly.

i look forward to the days when you'll be a teenager and you can gist me about all your crushes and new lines guys use to toast ladies in your time and I'll tell you what they used in my time, I'll even tell you how your dad toasted me and we'll laugh and promise to never tell your dad.

I can't wait to tell you about a man who loved you first and would always love you, who gave his life for you and would do it again if he had a chance. i know you would have met him in heaven, but loving him down here is different. By the way, say hi to Jesus for me while you are there and thank God for giving me a gift like you.

The world is full of evil my love but do not be afraid because I'll be right there beside you when you need a shoulder to cry on. Through all the heart breaks and failures, I'll hold your hand, and embrace you.

i promise to never throw negative words at you, i promise to always tell you how great you are and that you can be anything you want to be. I'll give you courage to walk the paths God has destined for you and celebrate every milestone you make.

i will allow you make your own mistakes and learn from them, no matter how tempted i am to shield you, i will let you live and only step in when i absolutely need to. i hope you will make me your best friend and we can discuss over a cup of Chapman and juice all your challenges and worries.

I look forward to watching you walk to the altar with a man who loves you dearly. I will quiz him, be sure of that and i know your dad would not spare him too, but be sure that we only want the best for you.

...and when you have your own kids, i hope i would have been i good example to you.

I Love you dearly, even though we haven't met, i feel a deep connection to you already... someday love, you'll be in my arms.... someday.

i need to write to your little brother too...

see you soon.

Love

Mummy

The Mathematician, the Boxer and the Evangelist

A man’s life is laden with different paths and choices; he must choose which path he would tread.  A few days ago, I picked up an article about Pastor E. A. Adeboye, a man who has served in Humility and Excellence, a man whose life has given others the permission to shine, a great man.(Sorry for the digression, but i needed to do that)

As I was saying, I picked up an editorial about him, there were quite a number of things about him in the papers, but this particular article caught my attention because it described him as the mathematician, boxer, and evangelist.  It amused me to know Daddy had trailed a number of paths before choosing the path he is right now.

I could not help but think about my own life, I mean, if I were to describe myself right now, it will probably be; Temitola Ojo;  the writer, singer, lover of children etc, but what path will I eventually choose to tread?  Truly, I think I am juggling all three of them..lol

Seriously, though, think about your own life, if you were to describe yourself, what would it be?  Where are you now?  Are you still in the middle of trying to define your path in life? Reality is that only one of these paths will lead to us fulfilling our God given purpose and destiny.  I wonder what would have happened if Daddy G.O had chosen another path, maybe a boxer (hmmm...) where would he be now?  No doubt, he would have done well but would he have touched as many lives as he has now?   No matter the path you choose, chances are you would do well, but will you be satisfied with just doing well or doing great and fulfilling purpose?  If I decide to wax an album now, I’m pretty sure I will sell a few, but would I have done better loving the children or writing great novels? (Still praying about that)

Somehow, I doubt Daddy GO would have achieved all that he has if he had followed another path.  Obviously, only one factor can make such a huge difference; Choosing God’s path for you.  If you can wholeheartedly pursue God’s path for your life, every other thing will follow you.  The pressure of life and hot pursuit of money/wealth has led many to choose paths that seem the quickest to making money/quick wealth but are you really happy?  Are you causing other lights to shine because of yours?  Think about it. This is a sure way of knowing if you are truly living the life God desires for you, he wasn’t kidding when he said you are the light of the world, neither was he trying to fill the bible with more words to make it bulky, God meant what he was saying when he inspired those words.   Regret is the most awful feeling in the world; you really do not want to end up there.  Look down that road you are on now, where would it end?

You are a candle, a light and by living your true purpose, you give other people permission to shine too, you can cause other dim candles around you to light up.  It could be your courage, your music, your words so many things that can cause other people to come alive.  However, you must choose the right path.  Some have hidden their light in the banking hall or some other profession that has limited their light and hidden it under a bushel, come out of there and SHINE.  What if Daddy G.O had stayed within the confines of a university’s lecture hall or within the boxing ring?  Some people are making impact quite alright, but not the right kind of impact.

This is my prayer every day, I want to walk into a room full of darkness and light it up, I want even my name to build courage in people’s hearts to pursue their dreams.  I want my life to light the lives of people who are in darkness, the path that will lead me there is right within me and by God’s grace I will tread that path and so will you in Jesus name.  Amen

Meanwhile, Thank you Daddy for giving me the courage to pursue my dreams, for letting me know that it is possible to live like Jesus, to be powerful and yet humble.  Your life has given light to this little article and I pray that many lives will light up as they read each line.

Happy Birthday in arrears Daddy.

My Conversation with a tree.

Yes, I spoke to a tree, it may sound weird or even impossible, but it did happen to me.  I like to think of it as one of those moments in life where God stops you in your tracks, stops time, touches the place of your greatest need, and then tells you to move ahead.

One early morning, I took a walk down the street, heading home.  I dug my hands deep into my pocket to keep it from freezing in the cold winter breeze.  It was a beautiful morning; I could not help but wonder how the sun could be smiling in the winter.  Anyway, I walked down that road thinking about the next phase of my life, asking myself the would I, could I, should I questions. Questions like “What am I doing here? Should I stay or should I go? Will I make it? flowed through my mind.  I thought about the past one year and all that had happened, it was sad, but I knew with a sense of finality that my journey on this land had ended, I needed to move on.  Things didn’t seem to be looking good, all the words God had spoken to me, the promises and all came rushing through my mind, but I had to admit that I didn’t really feel like I had achieved anything in the past one year.  I felt like I had given so much but had nothing in return, no reward.

The Tree.

Then I lifted my head and saw this big and magnificent tree, however, it had lost all its leaves, it stood bare and naked.  I cast my mind to a few months back, when I had stared in awe of the beauty of the tree with its green leaves and beautiful flowers; I had even taken a picture of it.  The tree looked nothing like it had been in summer, I wondered if the tree had feelings too, the words of Pocahontas song came to mind “...but I know every rock and tree and creature, has a life, has a spirit, has a name...”  Maybe the tree felt worthless too, having lost all its beauty and magnificence.  I walked past the tree shaking my head and returning to my own thoughts and misery

Suddenly, I felt a tap on my shoulder; I looked back but didn’t see anyone.  I thought one of the dry sticks from the tree had fallen on my shoulder.  I mindlessly dusted off my shoulder and walked on,

“Hey you”

I looked back but didn’t see anyone, my brain immediately told my legs to run.

“I’m talking to you young lady”

I turned and saw the tree move; I instantly wanted to pee in my pant.

“Why you giving me that pitiful look and shaking your head like you ain’t got common sense?”

The tree had the African American accent or was it the constant days of watching Madea movies that was finally getting to me? I couldn’t utter a word.

“You lost your tongue?”

“I’m sorry” I finally said, “I didn’t mean to”

“Is that all you gat to say for yourself? It used its branch to push me closer to it “Come closer, I aint gonna bite, can’t even digest you”

I moved along with the push until I was standing right in front of the tree again.

“I know you, I always see you when you walk past me.  I saw you take me a picture the other day which you never showed me, but I ain’t mad”.

I still couldn’t talk, I really needed to pee.

“I’m gonna teach you something today young lady, don’t go looking at me with pitiful eyes, I know how magnificent I used to look and can imagine how I look like now.  I ain’t bothered, you know why? Cos I know it’s the changing of seasons, it’s natural.  But what I wouldn’t want to happen is to be looked upon with pity.  I have my glory days ahead of me.  Let me tell you something, God knows what he was doing when he created every living thing and he wired in everything he created the ability to function in any situation.  Now, take we trees for example, when its summer, we’re all beautiful and stunning, in winter, we’re all dried up on the outside, but not on the inside.  We are working within to nourish ourselves so when the seasons change, we’d be able to spring out more fruit and beauty, it’s our preparation stage and we need to work on our inside.  Why do you think the next season after winter is called spring?”

I was getting really interested in where the conversation was headed.

“You remember the story of fig tree in the bible?” The tree continued.  “That’s the most foolish tree that ever existed and we other trees have made an example out of it.  It probably played out the season it was meant to nourish itself from within and when the seasons changed, it had no fruit, just wasn’t nourished enough to handle it.  Do you know what great privilege it is for the master to take a fruit from your tree? and it wasted it, oh how I wish twas me.  Anyway, whats my point?  Y’all humans have seasons too, when y’all get dried up and act all miserable when you should build strength on your inside and prepare for the next season”. 

“I know you are feeling all dried up now, the past one year has drained you of all you have and right now, if you were a tree, you would probably look just like me...maybe worse.  But you’ve got to pucker up gurl and grow your spirit man.  I tell you, the season is changing and you certainly don’t want to be caught unawares when it does and be like that foolish fig tree.  Stop thinking your life is over and spend time growing from within”. 

“Did you just read my mind?” I asked foolishly

“No gurl, I just told you my mind.  Now run along, I gat to get back to my nourishing, I gotta look even better when the seasons change alright.  Now you don’t go blaming God or thinking he has abandoned you, go grow your spirit and strength young lady, the season’s changing, be prepared, don’t be like that old foolish fig tree, you don’t want a curse on you now do ya?  You never know when the Master will pass by.  Now, come back in Spring and take me another picture, I’ll be looking out for you.  Now run along”.

I stood staring at the tree for another 2 minutes, not sure what I was expecting, maybe I thought it would shoo me away again.  I walked back home with a new knowledge of my situation and a determination to grow from within during this period.  Thinking about the fig tree made me shiver, the Master passed by and needed it’s fruit and it was ill prepared, the thought of missing my moment of blessing with God made my resolve stronger.  I would stop complaining and being miserable and grow my spirit and when Spring comes, I’ll spring up much more beauty, love, kindness and so much more to offer to God and everyone around me.

So help me God, Amen.

Signs and Symptoms of Marriage

Recently, I have been pondering on some things that have been happening to me and sincerely I do find them rather disturbing and very interesting.   I began to really notice them when I started hearing of friends who were getting married and it became really pronounced when I feasted on and fed my eyes and heart with romantic movies that gave me a regular doze of all the sweet nothings I loved to hear and the short lived feelings of being in a romantic setting which frankly I haven’t had in a while.

I consulted with a friend (a guy of course) just to compare notes and was I surprised to see that our notes were the same, but from a guy’s perspective.  I mean, if we were in the same class and submitted our notes as a project, one of us would have been arrested for Plagiarism (am guessing it would have been him cos girls always get away with things like that). 

So, one morning as I struggled with my reading, trying to separate the word LOVE from every sentence I read, I picked up my pen and wrote these words on my Note book “I think I am having the Signs and Symptoms of Marriage”.  I smiled as I looked at those words and that sudden feeling of knowing you have created something filled my heart with a fuzzy feeling and a mischievous smile danced on my lips as I thought of all my friends that must be having these signs and symptoms.  So if you are tagged in this note, I was thinking of you.... (just kidding)

So here are some of the signs and symptoms I noticed, pls feel free to disagree with me or even add yours.

1. Incessant daydreaming about a faceless guy coming to sweep you off your feet
2. Pillow hugging
3. Sleepless nights
4. Loneliness knows you by name
5. Taking every smile or sincere compliment as a sign of attraction
6. Charging your phone once in two days cos it never rings.
7. Calling yourself with someone else’s phone just to hear your phone ring
8. Adding guys or girls as friends on facebook just cos they look good and rejecting the ones that don’t impress you. (I can see some people smiling on this one ha ha)
9. When your phone finally rings, you try to keep the person on line for as long as you can cos you never know when you will get a call again.
10. Watching romantic movies endlessly.... even d ones where you can’t understand what they are saying.
11. The need to get noticed by all means... doing stupid things you will never have thought you can do.
12. Blaming your friends and family for not giving your number to their friends or colleagues in the office.
13. Looking at people’s fingers to check for a ring
14. Visiting wedding sites (Ladies....)
15. Let’s not even start on prayer points every morning.
16. Secretly hoping a guy will ask for your number and making moves to ensure he does that.
17. Making anonymous calls to random numbers.
18. Wishing the guy/girl you love breaks up with other girl/guy
19. Changing your bb or facebook profile picture, every second (ok every few minutes) every day or every week (depending on how severe).
20. Obsession about catching the bride’s flowers at a wedding.
21. Smiling to yourself unconsciously (the result of daydreaming)
22. Being invited to a party and thinking “Maybe I will meet Mr. right or Mrs. Left there”
23. Suddenly remembering all your crushes and silly love way back in primary school or secondary school and hoping maybe you’ll bump into them someday (unmarried and unengaged of course).
24. Deleting the word coincidence from your personal dictionary.
25. Did I mention flirting... hmmmmm *raised eye brow*

So, I know the list is endless and many of you will disagree with me, but feel free to add and subtract.  However, I must say something at this point, these are only signs and symptoms and some can become extreme cases.  If you by any chance have any of the above listed signs and symptoms please do the following immediately to avoid extremity;

1. If you are single and unattached, see your pastor immediately for prayers.
2. If you are engaged, pls for God’s sake, go get married.
3. If you are married, please take your wife/husband on a vacation, you have some rekindling to do.

Hopefully, this will help some people know where they stand and what they need to do.  If symptoms persist...  I have no idea what next you can do.

Toodles

Life is like a Candle

One hot afternoon, I was sitting alone in my room and I felt the presence of God with me.  It was so intense that I started crying and I asked the Lord why he had come to visit me today.  He asked me to seat at the table in my room which I did.  There was a candle and a box of matches on the table, he then asked me to light the candle and let it seat on the table.  Like a child listening to her father, I obeyed.

When the candle was lit and well seated on the table, he said to me “Life is like a candle”.  I watched the candle earnestly as the flames danced upon its shoulders, waiting expectantly to listen and understand the wisdom the Lord wanted to teach me that afternoon.  The Lord continued...

“You are made to be a light in the world, you are made to dispel darkness and someday, just like the candle, your time will be up”.  I kept listening and watching the candle. The top of the candle filled with melted wax and it poured down its sides to the table and I heard the lord say to me “You were made to be an outpour unto the world.  Everything I have given you, the gifts, the wisdom, the love is meant to be outpoured into the world, not kept to yourself.  If the candle didn’t have an avenue to overflow, the wax would clog at the top and dim the flame, if you do not pour out to the world, you cannot shine brightly to the world; your light will be too dim to be seen. 

I nodded and watched as the wax slowly slipped down the sides of the candle, suddenly a light wind started blowing the flames of the candle and it seemed like it would quench the flame, it flickered and tossed from side to side but God instructed me to shield the flame with my hand which I did and the flame calmed.  Then he said “The storms of life will come and threaten to snuff life out of you, but never fear, always know that I am always there to shield you from these storms. If you watched closely you would have noticed that when the wind tossed the flames, more wax was melted and more wax flowed down, that’s what storms are meant to do to you, they are to make you stronger and help you learn more things you can share with the rest of the world who may find themselves in your situation.

I smiled.  When the wind stopped, I removed my hand from the candle, but I knew the Lord was not done, so I waited.  He asked me to pull the candle from the table, by this time, a lot of wax had flowed down the candle to the table and there was a lot of wax stuck to the table.  “After you have finished the race and left the world the mark you leave is like the wax stuck to the table, it is like the outpour of your entire life to the world.  Just like the candle, its outpour always remains long after the candle burns all its wax and even when you try to scrape it away, it always still leaves a mark on the table or any other surface it is placed on, that is how your life should be”.

I wondered in awe at the wisdom the Lord had just shared with me, there was a lot of truth ringing from his words.  Finally, the Lord said to me, go and write these things down.  I switched off the candle and picked my journal, the words the Lord spoke to me flowed through my hand into the pages of my journal and today, I present these same words to you.

Life is like a candle, live your life knowing that one day it will end and think about what you are leaving behind when you go because no matter what happens, the candle must always overflow, so will your life... whether you pour out good or bad things, whether the mark you leave behind will inspire people or mar their lives, you determine that.

Lost

I feel so lost in this world

Like a little child left alone in the cold

Like an old forgotten painting on the wall of a beautiful castle

And Even though there are familiar sights and faces.

I feel lost

But deep within my heart is a world

Every now and then, I love to go there

To feel alive, happy, fullfilled and content

But I cannot find the path to lead my feet there

Only my heart knows the way

I hope that someday

Before my breathing slows

My heart will lead my feet

To that world... My happy world

That is hidden within its beats