Thursday, June 16, 2011

Signs and Symptoms of Marriage

Recently, I have been pondering on some things that have been happening to me and sincerely I do find them rather disturbing and very interesting.   I began to really notice them when I started hearing of friends who were getting married and it became really pronounced when I feasted on and fed my eyes and heart with romantic movies that gave me a regular doze of all the sweet nothings I loved to hear and the short lived feelings of being in a romantic setting which frankly I haven’t had in a while.

I consulted with a friend (a guy of course) just to compare notes and was I surprised to see that our notes were the same, but from a guy’s perspective.  I mean, if we were in the same class and submitted our notes as a project, one of us would have been arrested for Plagiarism (am guessing it would have been him cos girls always get away with things like that). 

So, one morning as I struggled with my reading, trying to separate the word LOVE from every sentence I read, I picked up my pen and wrote these words on my Note book “I think I am having the Signs and Symptoms of Marriage”.  I smiled as I looked at those words and that sudden feeling of knowing you have created something filled my heart with a fuzzy feeling and a mischievous smile danced on my lips as I thought of all my friends that must be having these signs and symptoms.  So if you are tagged in this note, I was thinking of you.... (just kidding)
So here are some of the signs and symptoms I noticed, pls feel free to disagree with me or even add yours.
  1. Incessant daydreaming about a faceless guy coming to sweep you off your feet
  2. Pillow hugging
  3. Sleepless nights
  4. Loneliness knows you by name
  5. Taking every smile or sincere compliment as a sign of attraction
  6. Charging your phone once in two days cos it never rings.
  7. Calling yourself with someone else’s phone just to hear your phone ring
  8. Adding guys or girls as friends on facebook just cos they look good and rejecting the ones that don’t impress you. (I can see some people smiling on this one ha ha)
  9. When your phone finally rings, you try to keep the person on line for as long as you can cos you never know when you will get a call again.
  10. Watching romantic movies endlessly.... even d ones where you can’t understand what they are saying.
  11. The need to get noticed by all means... doing stupid things you will never have thought you can do.
  12. Blaming your friends and family for not giving your number to their friends or colleagues in the office.
  13. Looking at people’s fingers to check for a ring
  14. Visiting wedding sites (Ladies....)
  15. Let’s not even start on prayer points every morning.
  16. Secretly hoping a guy will ask for your number and making moves to ensure he does that.
  17. Making anonymous calls to random numbers.
  18. Wishing the guy/girl you love breaks up with other girl/guy
  19. Changing your bb or facebook profile picture, every second (ok every few minutes) every day or every week (depending on how severe).
  20. Obsession about catching the bride’s flowers at a wedding.
  21. Smiling to yourself unconsciously (the result of daydreaming)
  22. Being invited to a party and thinking “Maybe I will meet Mr. right or Mrs. Left there”
  23. Suddenly remembering all your crushes and silly love way back in primary school or secondary school and hoping maybe you’ll bump into them someday (unmarried and unengaged of course).
  24. Deleting the word coincidence from your personal dictionary.
  25. Did I mention flirting... hmmmmm *raised eye brow*
So, I know the list is endless and many of you will disagree with me, but feel free to add and subtract.  However, I must say something at this point, these are only signs and symptoms and some can become extreme cases.  If you by any chance have any of the above listed signs and symptoms please do the following immediately to avoid extremity;
  1. If you are single and unattached, see your pastor immediately for prayers.
  2. If you are engaged, pls for God’s sake, go get married.
  3. If you are married, please take your wife/husband on a vacation, you have some rekindling to do.
Hopefully, this will help some people know where they stand and what they need to do.  If symptoms persist...  I have no idea what next you can do.


Sunday, March 13, 2011

Life is like a Candle

One hot afternoon, I was sitting alone in my room and I felt the presence of God with me.  It was so intense that I started crying and I asked the Lord why he had come to visit me today.  He asked me to seat at the table in my room which I did.  There was a candle and a box of matches on the table, he then asked me to light the candle and let it seat on the table.  Like a child listening to her father, I obeyed.

When the candle was lit and well seated on the table, he said to me “Life is like a candle”.  I watched the candle earnestly as the flames danced upon its shoulders, waiting expectantly to listen and understand the wisdom the Lord wanted to teach me that afternoon.  The Lord continued...
“You are made to be a light in the world, you are made to dispel darkness and someday, just like the candle, your time will be up”.  I kept listening and watching the candle. The top of the candle filled with melted wax and it poured down its sides to the table and I heard the lord say to me “You were made to be an outpour unto the world.  Everything I have given you, the gifts, the wisdom, the love is meant to be outpoured into the world, not kept to yourself.  If the candle didn’t have an avenue to overflow, the wax would clog at the top and dim the flame, if you do not pour out to the world, you cannot shine brightly to the world; your light will be too dim to be seen. 

I nodded and watched as the wax slowly slipped down the sides of the candle, suddenly a light wind started blowing the flames of the candle and it seemed like it would quench the flame, it flickered and tossed from side to side but God instructed me to shield the flame with my hand which I did and the flame calmed.  Then he said “The storms of life will come and threaten to snuff life out of you, but never fear, always know that I am always there to shield you from these storms. If you watched closely you would have noticed that when the wind tossed the flames, more wax was melted and more wax flowed down, that’s what storms are meant to do to you, they are to make you stronger and help you learn more things you can share with the rest of the world who may find themselves in your situation.

I smiled.  When the wind stopped, I removed my hand from the candle, but I knew the Lord was not done, so I waited.  He asked me to pull the candle from the table, by this time, a lot of wax had flowed down the candle to the table and there was a lot of wax stuck to the table.  “After you have finished the race and left the world the mark you leave is like the wax stuck to the table, it is like the outpour of your entire life to the world.  Just like the candle, its outpour always remains long after the candle burns all its wax and even when you try to scrape it away, it always still leaves a mark on the table or any other surface it is placed on, that is how your life should be”.

I wondered in awe at the wisdom the Lord had just shared with me, there was a lot of truth ringing from his words.  Finally, the Lord said to me, go and write these things down.  I switched off the candle and picked my journal, the words the Lord spoke to me flowed through my hand into the pages of my journal and today, I present these same words to you.

Life is like a candle, live your life knowing that one day it will end and think about what you are leaving behind when you go because no matter what happens, the candle must always overflow, so will your life... whether you pour out good or bad things, whether the mark you leave behind will inspire people or mar their lives, you determine that.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011


I feel so lost in this world
Like a little child left alone in the cold
Like an old forgotten painting on the wall of a beautiful castle
And Even though there are familiar sights and faces.
I feel lost
But deep within my heart is a world
Every now and then, I love to go there
To feel alive, happy, fullfilled and content
But I cannot find the path to lead my feet there
Only my heart knows the way
I hope that someday
Before my breathing slows
My heart will lead my feet
To that world... My happy world
That is hidden within its beats

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Fighting Temptations

Many Christians struggle from various forms of temptation that have held them bound as a result of addictions formed from habits they counted as insignificant in time past.  The flesh is weak especially in fighting temptations and in the wake of satisfying it’s desires, it drains a man of all his dignity and his Spirit suffers the blow for days or even years.

These addictions are easy doorways the devil uses to access the lives of Christians; he uses it to make us see ourselves as less than who we are and torments us constantly with our weakness. 

A very common addiction the devil has used to get hold of our generation today is Masturbation.  Some people will tell you it is right, after all, it’s just a way to release yourself, but it is a web, it entangles you and enslaves you.  Sex is the most successful weapon of the devil today and masturbation is only a way to make it look good. However, we have a merciful God that has promised us a way of escape for every temptation that comes our way.  

Temptations come in many forms but usually walk through the open doors of addictions.  Addictions are formed habits and habits are formed from the little things we simply cannot take our minds off.  It’s much easier to kill a habit than an addiction.

When you are faced with such addiction, here are some tips you may like to consider;

1.     Temptations do not just happen out of the blues, there are various things that lead up to a man being tempted that must be avoided at all cost.  I like to call them triggers.  They may differ for different situations.  Masturbation is a massive addiction that entangles its victims in a web, clouds your mind and distorts your thoughts.  However, there are several triggers like pornography, subtle sex scenes, sometimes it could just be the way people look at you, touch you or funny sounds.  The idea is to take note of what triggers these feelings and needs; it will differ according to individuals.  Even smokers and alcoholics have triggers, find them, take note of them and avoid them like a plague.

2.    If you are struggling with Masturbation, please do not keep it to yourself.  Tell someone you can trust someone you can be accountable to, someone who will pray for and with you rather than mock you.  This will help you a lot on your way to recovery.  It is very natural to be ashamed of your addictions, but it’s very dangerous to keep it a secret because the devil will take advantage of that.  He will torment you with funny notions of shame, rejection and the fear of people looking down on you especially if you are respected as a holy and perfect Christian.  If you do not tell someone, it will keep eating into your life until it finally destroys you and people eventually get to know.  However, when it is no longer a secret, the devil has lost some amount of power over you because confessing a sin is the road to deliverance and total healing

3.   As a result of our imperfect nature and the weakness of the flesh, sometimes, we would fall or fail.  There are days you will succumb to temptation and when this happens, we are quick to condemn ourselves and hide from God; we shut God off totally and wallow in self pity.  This is the pleasure of the devil, he immediately kicks in with self condemning thoughts of unworthiness and eternal condemnation.  He twists your knowledge of the Love of God in your heart and condemns you to hell.  The devil sees our withdrawal from God as a chance to pull us right into darkness.  You must understand that it’s at the point where you fall that God wants to hold you the most, to pull you in his arms, away from the lies of the devil and whisper his undying and unconditional love into your ears.  God is love and there is nothing you can do to make him love you any more or any less.   He only wants us to honestly come before him for mercy.  No matter how many times you fail, keep trying but never hide from God.  Don’t be scared of the devil, his horns and tail even that fork he seems to carry around are nothing compared to the weapons of God, let him know his lies are crap speak the word of God to his face and send him running off to his mama(if he has one).  Remind him that there is now no condemnation to those who are in Christ.  You’ll see that he’s not so scary after all

4.   Before going for a battle, you must prepare.  Whether there is a war or not, the army are always in training in anticipation of any war to avoid being caught unawares.  Their weapons are constantly with them and their minds are always alert.  This is the way to handle temptations.  You must prepare for them before they come, the devil never sleeps, every victory over temptation makes him furious and he keeps planning new ways to attack.  You must arm yourself with the word of God and be ready to speak boldly in his face.  You must travail on your knees in the place of prayer in order to stand victorious.

Finally, pray for the Grace of God, without Grace your battle is in vain.  Flee all appearances of evil even when the devil puts it right under your nose, hold your breath and stand your ground.  Find the nearest way of escape and RUN, that’s why you have two legs.  We are on the battle field and we cannot afford to be distracted or taken unawares.  We must fight; we must be prepared at all times and consistently upgrade our weapons by growing in the knowledge of God’s word.  We must abide him God at all times.  The truth is when we fully immerse ourselves in God, the things of this world along with its temptations and limitations grow dim and slowly fade away in the light of his Love.

Thursday, January 6, 2011


The raindrops pounded around me as i squeezed myself under the tiny shade I found in a dark alley.  It had become my home for a while but it could not shelter me when the rain poured and the sun scourged.  The sight of me sent everyone away from me, I was a scum, another unwanted dirt.  As I stayed squeezed under my shade, my eyes were wide open, but i could not tell the difference between the rain and my tears.

Then, he walked up to me, a little boy under a mighty umbrella.  I thought he had come to laugh and make fun of me like other children did, but he stretched out his hand and his gentle eyes beckoned on me.  I hesitated and watched for a moment, but he didn't withdraw his hand.  He saw my hesitation and smiled and like a dove he nodded.

I took his hand and he pulled me gently under his umbrella and silently, we walked together.  He led me to the gates of a mighty palace, so full of majesty and awesomeness.  I stopped in my tracks and moved back.  Surely, he didn't expect me to follow him into the gates.  I was filthy, I was no royalty and my scum was sure to stink up the whole place.  I simply could not see myself fitting into such royalty and beauty.

I took another step back and was out of his umbrella, but he did not let go of my hand.  He gently pulled back in and spoke his first words to me.

" It's okay, everyone is expecting you".

His sweet voice calmed my nerves and i walked into the gates with him.  However, my confidence went right back to bottom level when we got to the door.  I thought about his parents, they would never let a scum like me come into their house.  As we stood at the door, I was shaking, not because of the cold, but for the fear of his father and possible rejection.

Without warning the door opened and a Man whose face i could not look upon stood before us.  He looked at his son and then at me.  " Papa, this is my friend, can she stay with us?"
A smile curved on his Papa's face and he took my hand from his son and led me into the palace.  He went on his knees, wiped my tears and hugged me.  "Welcome home my child"

My heart melted and my knees could not hold me any more, his words brought me to my knees for he did not call me his son's friend, he called me His Child.  Truly, everyone was expecting me as there was a great feast. I was cleaned up and given new cloths and welcomed into the family.

Jesus takes us just as we are, with all our filth and sin, then he presents us to the Father for adoption.  God takes us in and makes us his own, a joint heir with Christ.  He takes away all condemnation and fills us with his righteousness.

The beauty of his Adoption.