Thursday, June 16, 2011

Signs and Symptoms of Marriage

Recently, I have been pondering on some things that have been happening to me and sincerely I do find them rather disturbing and very interesting.   I began to really notice them when I started hearing of friends who were getting married and it became really pronounced when I feasted on and fed my eyes and heart with romantic movies that gave me a regular doze of all the sweet nothings I loved to hear and the short lived feelings of being in a romantic setting which frankly I haven’t had in a while.

I consulted with a friend (a guy of course) just to compare notes and was I surprised to see that our notes were the same, but from a guy’s perspective.  I mean, if we were in the same class and submitted our notes as a project, one of us would have been arrested for Plagiarism (am guessing it would have been him cos girls always get away with things like that). 

So, one morning as I struggled with my reading, trying to separate the word LOVE from every sentence I read, I picked up my pen and wrote these words on my Note book “I think I am having the Signs and Symptoms of Marriage”.  I smiled as I looked at those words and that sudden feeling of knowing you have created something filled my heart with a fuzzy feeling and a mischievous smile danced on my lips as I thought of all my friends that must be having these signs and symptoms.  So if you are tagged in this note, I was thinking of you.... (just kidding)
So here are some of the signs and symptoms I noticed, pls feel free to disagree with me or even add yours.
  1. Incessant daydreaming about a faceless guy coming to sweep you off your feet
  2. Pillow hugging
  3. Sleepless nights
  4. Loneliness knows you by name
  5. Taking every smile or sincere compliment as a sign of attraction
  6. Charging your phone once in two days cos it never rings.
  7. Calling yourself with someone else’s phone just to hear your phone ring
  8. Adding guys or girls as friends on facebook just cos they look good and rejecting the ones that don’t impress you. (I can see some people smiling on this one ha ha)
  9. When your phone finally rings, you try to keep the person on line for as long as you can cos you never know when you will get a call again.
  10. Watching romantic movies endlessly.... even d ones where you can’t understand what they are saying.
  11. The need to get noticed by all means... doing stupid things you will never have thought you can do.
  12. Blaming your friends and family for not giving your number to their friends or colleagues in the office.
  13. Looking at people’s fingers to check for a ring
  14. Visiting wedding sites (Ladies....)
  15. Let’s not even start on prayer points every morning.
  16. Secretly hoping a guy will ask for your number and making moves to ensure he does that.
  17. Making anonymous calls to random numbers.
  18. Wishing the guy/girl you love breaks up with other girl/guy
  19. Changing your bb or facebook profile picture, every second (ok every few minutes) every day or every week (depending on how severe).
  20. Obsession about catching the bride’s flowers at a wedding.
  21. Smiling to yourself unconsciously (the result of daydreaming)
  22. Being invited to a party and thinking “Maybe I will meet Mr. right or Mrs. Left there”
  23. Suddenly remembering all your crushes and silly love way back in primary school or secondary school and hoping maybe you’ll bump into them someday (unmarried and unengaged of course).
  24. Deleting the word coincidence from your personal dictionary.
  25. Did I mention flirting... hmmmmm *raised eye brow*
So, I know the list is endless and many of you will disagree with me, but feel free to add and subtract.  However, I must say something at this point, these are only signs and symptoms and some can become extreme cases.  If you by any chance have any of the above listed signs and symptoms please do the following immediately to avoid extremity;
  1. If you are single and unattached, see your pastor immediately for prayers.
  2. If you are engaged, pls for God’s sake, go get married.
  3. If you are married, please take your wife/husband on a vacation, you have some rekindling to do.
Hopefully, this will help some people know where they stand and what they need to do.  If symptoms persist...  I have no idea what next you can do.